A Spammy Tale Part 3

There are few things that are certain in this world, but rest assured, the sun will always rise, there will always be death, taxes will always be too high, and criminals will do anything in their power to scam you out of your money.  Usually I'm only thankful that the sun rises, but this morning I found myself quite thankful for criminals trying to scam me out of my money when I received yet another response from our favorite Sgt. Amy Raymond.

A Spammy Tale Parts 1 & 2

We have all received our fair share of spam emails...you know, those emails you rarely read because, like the rest of normal human beings, you don't give a rip what "Russian Girls are interested in you"? Until this summer, I was just like you and never bothered with my spam box, however I recently watched a number of hilarious videos by James Veitch, a British comedian who began responding to some of the more amusing spam emails. (If you haven't seen any of these videos, here is a link to my personal favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N682eopajzA)

Ever since I watched these videos, I have anxiously checked my spam box for an email I could have a little fun responding to. Finally, the long awaited email arrived.  The following interactions happened.

You Are Here

We are all familiar with the big red arrow containing the words “You Are Here” which can be found on maps everywhere.  Whether you are wandering a theme park looking for a particular roller coaster, hiking a trail in search of your car, or simply searching for that “cute little shop” at the mall, there is something comforting about seeing those three words printed across an oversized, upright map.  Everyone from Pocahontas to my directionally challenged mother is able to take one quick glance at the map and see exactly where they are in relation to their surroundings.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have one of those arrows for life?  Whenever you felt lost, you could simply saunter over to the nearest map and see exactly where you are in life and where you need to go to get to your destination. Should I accept that job or not? Should I marry that girl? Should I eat a second piece of pie or not? (Hint: The answer to that last one is always yes.)  Life would be so much simpler with a road map.

Dancing in the Light of the Ghost Lamp

If you ever visit a theatre late at night, you will more than likely see an eerie blue glow shining through the darkness of the stage.  This haunting blue beacon is what we in the theatrical world, call a ghost lamp.

As you can imagine, there are a few different stories explaining the purpose of this light.  The explanations range from the paranormal to the practical.  Some say that the lone light bulb is to light the paths of ghosts as they mill about in the darkness, while the more practical (and true) explanation is that the lamp is to mark the edge of the stage so that someone doesn’t break their foot or neck in the darkness.  (Actors may want you to tell them to “break a leg” before a show, but directors would rather avoid the mess of a lawsuit from someone actually doing so.)

The last ghost lamp of my college career now shines on the stage of Rudd Auditorium.  In just under a week, the Hilltop Players will open Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Oklahoma, and I will have the privilege of taking the stage three more times as I play the role of Curly. 

It hasn’t quite hit me yet that this is my last time. I’m not sure when it will.  But the truth is that regardless of when the truth sinks in, the orchestra will sound their last note and the red curtain will close one final time. 

The Winter Waltz of God's Word

Down in the land of alligators, mosquitoes, and Chubbies shorts, snow is the one dream that Mickey Mouse cannot make come true.  The number of people older than myself who have never seen snow is actually rather astonishing.  I remember, on one occasion, it sleeting and everyone in the neighborhood was running outside to see semi-frozen water fall from the sky. 

While I have been blessed to see my fair share of snow, unlike my Floridian brethren, it is still somewhat of a novelty to me.  Unlike my former roommate from Iowa who viewed snow rather apathetically, my lack of experience with snow has allowed me to retain an appreciation for its beauty that I might have otherwise lost had I grown up somewhere where snow was commonplace.

It just so happened that I found myself sitting in the snow this afternoon, watching it float down from the sky to kiss the earth.  You see, this afternoon was one of those times where I just needed to get away from school, people, and responsibilities so that I could think and pray.  I bundled up in a hat, gloves, and jacket, and drove myself up to a local bluff where I occasionally go to ponder what’s going on in my life.

Building Back Broken Walls in the New Year

If you are anything like me, the past few days, your social media newsfeeds have been filled with New Year’s Resolutions, sentimental posts about the old year, and excited anticipation for the new year.  With the touchdown of the ball in Times Square, ushered in by champagne, countdowns, and New Years kisses, all of the world’s problems from the previous year are magically erased between 11:59:59 PM and 12:00:00 AM.

As for me, I have remained atypically silent on social media for the past few days while I reflected over the past year.  I wish I could say that my reflection was over all of the incredible moments I had last year, but alas, I cannot boast such fortune.  As I thought back over the previous  365 days, I realized that there was not a single moment I had that was one hundred percent good.  This year, Joy was not allowed to enter the room unchaperoned by Grief.  They walked hand-in-hand, leaving behind them a trail of tainted memories.