‘Tis the season of warm sweaters, sledding down snowy
slopes, mistletoe, sitting by a warm fire with hot cocoa, Christmas lights, and
Saturday night Hallmark Christmas Specials.
That’s right! The time has come
for The Hallmark Channel to spread Christmas cheer and cheesy love stories with
their weekend marathons of Christmas movies, both new and old alike. While some people are really into these two
hour doses of cliché cheer, I personally can’t stand them. Call me a scrooge if you will, but I learned
a number of years ago that, if you have seen one of these movies, you have seen
them all. I mean that seriously! At this point, the only thrill is sipping on
eggnog and counting the number of mall Santa’s that appear throughout the course
of the movie. Don’t believe me? Well, allow me to give you the outline for
every Hallmark Christmas movie every filmed.
Before we get into the plot of the movie, we have to
establish a title. Now there is a simple
formula you can follow in order to come up with a Hallmark Christmas Movie
title. Are you paying attention? I don’t want you to miss this because it can
get a little complicated. The formula is
as follows: A/The Christmas ___________________________. Insert
any word you want into that blank and pick the most fitting article to use at
the beginning and you have your title.
Boom. Just as easy as 1,2,3. I’m serious!
Pick any word to put in that blank and it works. Miracle, Wish, Shoes, Gift, Letter, Card,
Cabin, Cookies, Sleigh, Heart, Headache, etc.
Any one of these options works.
Now that we have our award-winning title, it’s time to
introduce our cast of characters. Let’s
address the leads first.
